uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
its not stalking. its research.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
this boner is exhausting
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
