Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Girls should come with a carfax report
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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