I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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