I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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