I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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