there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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