I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
