Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
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