Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
