Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
