Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
this boner is exhausting
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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