I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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