I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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