He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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