vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
