Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
