He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
