I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
a search helicopter?!
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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