sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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