i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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