Can Purell be used as lube?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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