You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
