How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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