youre lurking in front of me
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i think i just lost a toe
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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