dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
