and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
