That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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