i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Mom said you looked used
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
God I need to hump something, right now.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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