You're so nebulous sometimes
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
