dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
