I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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