Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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