Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
