Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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