a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
