please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
