Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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