I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
