nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It's Friday. Sex?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
