i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
