Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
