Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
