When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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