pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
