matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There r osticjed everywhere
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
