He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
