Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
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