I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
