Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I faked an abortion last night.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
