i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
