I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm too high and old for this...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
