are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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